Worlds Collide/Starfuckers
Apr. 25th, 1998 05:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralzoSTART LYRICS
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide
Now this is what it's like....
Starfuckers
Starfuckers
Starfuckers incorporated
END LYRICS
Kyle said these were our songs. I felt proud that we had a song, "our song". It had a nice ring to it.
Later I combed through them, trying to analyze what about these songs reminded him of me. Neither of them were romantic?
They are kind of badass songs. I feel like I'm driving fast in a car when I hear them. I'm wearing like this leather jacket. Kyle must be like waaay smarter about these things than I am.
Still, I have this feeling in my stomach, like I'm falling. He says he loves me, but that's not good enough, I can't hold onto that. These songs aren't enough to work with, I can't crack their code.
I'll ask him.
I ask him, and ask him, and ask him. His face looks like it's bruised every time, but he doesn't say anything.
In the meantime, I have to fuck him. Like, every second. Everytime he plays videogames or hangs out with his mom or his friends, I feel like my head is going to explode. There's no other way.
"Come *on* Kyle...." I say in that way, grabbing his arm. It makes me feel good that he can't resist me. His mom cuts me a look but I don't know what it means.
We go to his room. The air looks green because that's the color I associate with Kyle, it's kind of a yellowy-neon green, static. I push him on the bed, he falls over like a light, stiff board. Pulls me on top then tumbles me over to the bottom, like usual. He turns on the stereo with one finger, a Green Day album. I'm close to memorizing all the songs. I look at the ceiling the whole time. I don't feel anything going on down there but a sick wet feeling. I don't even know if he's using a condom. I'm on birth control.
It's over, he's back to video games. I confront him again
"Why do you love me?" I'm nagging him, not backing down this time. I make him look at me.
"You were my first....You're a goddess. I worship you, ok?"
He bursts into tears.
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide
Now this is what it's like....
Starfuckers
Starfuckers
Starfuckers incorporated
END LYRICS
Kyle said these were our songs. I felt proud that we had a song, "our song". It had a nice ring to it.
Later I combed through them, trying to analyze what about these songs reminded him of me. Neither of them were romantic?
They are kind of badass songs. I feel like I'm driving fast in a car when I hear them. I'm wearing like this leather jacket. Kyle must be like waaay smarter about these things than I am.
Still, I have this feeling in my stomach, like I'm falling. He says he loves me, but that's not good enough, I can't hold onto that. These songs aren't enough to work with, I can't crack their code.
I'll ask him.
I ask him, and ask him, and ask him. His face looks like it's bruised every time, but he doesn't say anything.
In the meantime, I have to fuck him. Like, every second. Everytime he plays videogames or hangs out with his mom or his friends, I feel like my head is going to explode. There's no other way.
"Come *on* Kyle...." I say in that way, grabbing his arm. It makes me feel good that he can't resist me. His mom cuts me a look but I don't know what it means.
We go to his room. The air looks green because that's the color I associate with Kyle, it's kind of a yellowy-neon green, static. I push him on the bed, he falls over like a light, stiff board. Pulls me on top then tumbles me over to the bottom, like usual. He turns on the stereo with one finger, a Green Day album. I'm close to memorizing all the songs. I look at the ceiling the whole time. I don't feel anything going on down there but a sick wet feeling. I don't even know if he's using a condom. I'm on birth control.
It's over, he's back to video games. I confront him again
"Why do you love me?" I'm nagging him, not backing down this time. I make him look at me.
"You were my first....You're a goddess. I worship you, ok?"
He bursts into tears.
